Yogi’s, this month our theme is power forgiving. I mean it like I mean sit and sweat in utkatasana for fifteen breaths, because this is not easy, and don’t I know it. This kind of forgiveness isn’t the floppy, hippy, one-love forgiveness that makes you feel weak like you just got walked all over like a doormat in the name of being spiritually enlightened. This is the forgiveness that takes all the wrong you feel in how things went and recycles the hell out of it. It’s a heat filled churning, burning process that alchemizes the hurt, the anger, the feelings of betrayal, and shines them into exquisite diamonds. Diamonds that are strong, powerful and radiate light.
So how do we do it?
First you have to feel. Denying that you feel wronged is a covering a stuffing down that will create a quiet bomb that will destroy you slowly, by creating the same scenario over and over again, so that you can find little vindication’s. Stuck in a repeat active soap opera, that serves no one. So you have to feel. Bark the hell out of it, to the person themselves, to your friends, to the folks who have your back, and will give you the relatedness you need to feel heard. Get that water off your back with a good shake.
Second we have to set a moment. A ceremonious moment, not too far past the event, where you’ve given yourself enough time to feel the feels and then you turn this into a Victory- “a Jai.” Now take a power step. Step over the threshold and change the story completely. Change the story into, “Thank God that happened, because now... “ and either leave it blank so the question begs awesome fulfillment, or fill it in now if you already see the openings and freedoms you gained from the flip side of the harm that you have experienced.
JAI means Victory, and victories are not easily stumbled upon wins. Victory implies there was some effort. Some sweat. In the case of power forgiving, the sweat is inside you. You don’t win by proving someone else wrong, or by punishing someone else. You win through the alchemical transformation that turns this resistance into personal gold. Not with a hardness, like an “in spite of” Victory, but a soft beautiful, rounded edged masterpiece that is your personal story. It’s how you grew. It’s how you became shiny. It shows up in every heart you share time with, that you are more open, more willing. You feel more deeply connect to why we’re here. To forgive, and live.
Third, you have to vow to marry the “Jai” to the pain. Any time, you start Re-feeling the pain, the anger, the downward story spiral, you have to connect with the victory. Like a religious practice. Like a marriage. Connected even when it’s uncomfortable. Even when you want so badly to re-renter the cave of victim-hood. You have to emerge with the shine you acquired. Lots of breath, lots of sweat, powerfully forgive. It’s not about them, it’s about what space you hold in your body, mind and heart. They will attend to their own garden as needed. For you, you’ve found the way. The tool: a souped-up power tool of forgiveness, letting go, and not looking back. As you move forward the release is like dropping all the weight onto the street behind you. It’s not your burden to bare. Your work is done, you gave yourself the freedom- key of forgiveness.
Finally, if that’s not enough, sprinkle a little gratitude on top. The gratidude doesn’t need to be for the person or the event. It can be, and perhaps should be completely unrelated. But gratitude is like the antidote for the pain of feeling wronged. Gratitude literally makes room for you to allow some crap to come your way. When your swimming In gratitude, you’ve created a huge room, and the thing that knocked you over the head a few moments ago, becomes so small, in the corner, you may still see it, but it holds no power over you.
So, to sum up:
Fire up the processing and write a new story
Commit to it
And bathe in all the yum you have.