With yoga we have to always remember it’s a balancing swing. The release of attachment to results is the medicine to those held in the clutches of misery when they don’t get what they want. But we can’t hover at the front crest of the swing, any more then we can hover at the back end. Meaning, complacency is as much an obstacle to a free and happy life as anything. It’s the attachment to being unattached! Read More
Dvesa is an obstacle (klesha) in the way of freedom. It is our avoidance of pain. I noticed during the spring month of April that I had a lot of internal rules that helped steer me clear of things which even remotely reminded me of past pain or echoed possibility of pain. I'm, at times, too good at learning. Having built up a stockade of "don'ts" I realized this month it was time to tear them down and let myself walk into fires that once burned me. Testing my new layers of unshakable peace and love. You know what? I have learned how much I've grown, how much courage has built up under my scabs, and now I no longer need those thick shells to feel protected. Life is richer, more open, and I am grateful for every new experience, welcoming it in whether it carries potential for pain or not.
--Ella Luckett
Thrive by Ella Luckett
I was sitting near my friend on her wedding day as she was getting her hair done. I looked over at her face and I could see that her body was in the room, but her mind was in a million other places. Behind her eyes was a map of thoughts: did all the relatives get in okay, is the catering going to work out? on and on and on… The details of life, especially surrounding the big things, are endless. I could tell my friend was about to miss her wedding day. Her body was there, but her experience was split in a million directions.
I asked her if she wanted to join me in a five minute meditation after her hair was done. She said yes, absolutely. We sat in two chairs, chaos all around, and breathed for five little minutes.
In that five minutes she became present to the beauty of the day. Her mind settled and released the unnecessary thoughts that were blocking her experience, and when she opened her eyes, there she was. She was back in her body, suddenly full of life and joy.
To this day, she thanks me for that moment.
The difference between surviving and thriving is almost always in the perspective. It’s in what type of breath you are taking in. Are you gasping in short shallow breaths to serve only the purpose of the moment? Or, can you breathe in big, and ride the moments like a wave – whether tumbling inside it, gliding on it’s crest - always with a laugh just because you are in the ocean at all!?
That is what our yoga practice is, friends. We take that daily moment to get inside our experience, instead of hovering all around it. Sometimes there’s resistance, because most days are not our wedding day. Most days are pulling through the grind to realize the bigger picture. But our practice gives us the touch of that big picture now, in the present moment. Usually it takes a moment to get past the stuff that doesn’t feel so good. We travel deeper inside our body and mind and find that, at our core, we are peaceful. Just below the surface of stress, there’s a well of abundance that encompasses all the good and bad and gives us the gift of presence. So we don’t wait to look back at the end of a particular journey and appreciate it. We get to feel life's sweetness and saltiness more potently in every moment.
This month notice the times when you are only half there. Gripping on for survival, racing through just to get done, or just dull and bored with the moment. Take a deep breath and loosen the grip, slow the gait, or shine your eyes. This life is made up of unmarked moments that you can either survive through -- or drink in, and thrive on!
Expectation, Inspiration and Communication by Ella Luckett
Expectation can get in the way of receiving. When we expect we are bound to be let down. But when we receive, everything is a gift.
I recently had an experience where my own expectations blinded me to the value of someone in my life. My own unmet expectations made me angry and uncommunicative. I realize in retrospect they were my expectations making me angry, not the person. My own frustration made me unsuccessful at communicating any desires from the relationship as something positive, or inspiring. Instead, mired in anger and frustration, I simply shut down and became distant… And then I lost them because of this distance. The loss is a great one. It took losing them to realize that I had been a victim only to my own expectations, and not one to that person’s lack of having the ability to be or give me what I wanted.
While I was dwelling in the story of what "should" have been, I became blind to the beauty of what was actually there. Something different then what I expected. Something I didn’t dream up myself, but that was being presented as a gift. Something that did actually make me happy, but in a different way then I had been attached to it looking.
We all have expectations from life. We dream things, are conditioned to want things, and also work hard toward achieving the things we want. But “expectation” is just a little far over the edge. Expectation is like the over ripe tomato. It has lost it’s inspiration to potentiality be something delicious by stewing it it’s own sense of itself.
When we were young and every experience was new, there was so much magic. It was so easy to get us to smile just by an adult presenting a simple thing in an inspired way. It could do us all some good to conjure back up that kind of open vision of what this life is to provide us.
So we want to keep, inspiration, momentum, communication, desire, achievement, and play, but experiment with high, but “OPEN” expectations of the result of all of those efforts. If you widen the scope if what comes your way perhaps it will contain just a little bit of something special that you hadn’t planned, for, but is in itself unique and amazing. How boring would life be if it was just a lever that we pull, and out comes exactly what we wanted.
People are amazing creatures who each have their own gifts, and our expectations of them can block the colorful rays they are trying to bestow on us.
So, this month, enjoy noticing your own expectations, and ask yourself if they are serving you or bringing you down. Transform them into inspiration and communication and see what you get!
This theme has been alive in my life very actively the past few months. I used to think that in order to maintain good relationships or connections with the people in my life I needed to empathize with them no matter what the emotion. In this way I attracted a lot of negative energies (insecurity, jealousy, anger, ext.) into my life. Instead of trying to counteract these people and their emotions with joy and kindness I got bombarded with my own load of negativity for no reason at all but to simply be accepted by others! As I write about it now it sounds crazy to me but I know that because I've learned that I can't let other people shape me and my emotions, I am very happy with my life and I am now reflecting that in everything I do and towards everyone I meet no matter who they are. I come across ALL sorts of people at the restaurant and I approach each person with the same kindness and if they try to counteract that with a negative energy I work to maintain an indifference with them as opposed to a frustration. It's really saved me a lot of my own energy and I'm glad for it, in fact I deal with less negative energy with this approach.
"Love as an external focus, exterior to you, will always bring a sense of vulnerability, always needing constant validation by someone or something. Love, as an internal focus projected outward, is a constant flow of self-assurance, self-acceptance, always striving to incorporate and project more of this blissful feeling of unity and harmony with all creation." - Ronna Star
About a week ago, I was having a rough morning. Just one of those mornings where everything is going wrong: the weather was terrible, my dog ran through mud and was a mess, I was running late, and then I JUST missed the subway. As the doors shut in my face, part of me wanted to scream. In my head, I was blaming the train conductor for not waiting two more seconds, cursing the guy who was taking forever to swipe his metro card...slipping farther and farther into a bad mood. Pretty much the opposite of loving kindness.
I stepped on the next train, took a deep breath and tried to get it together.
I looked down and seated in front of me was an older woman, who was staring at me. She smiled and motioned me close to her to tell me something. Confused, I looked down to see if I was standing on her bag or something? She then simply said, 'My dear, you have the most beautiful eyes.' I was speechless for a good thirty seconds, so taken by surprise. I thanked her and we talked for a few minutes before I got off. She had changed my entire day, my entire mood, with her kind words. I'm used to the L train being a bit hostile, but this lovely woman was in her own world, one where you see other people. I went on with my day, and tried to take her kindness and carry it with me, passing it on to others. Lately when I feel myself start to get back into that negative place for whatever reason, I think of her. It's amazing what a simple act can do, and how easy it can be if you are mindful of it.
The philosopher Socrates is credited with offering this rule engagement:“Is it true? Is it necessary? Is it kind?”
You may have in recent months found yourself on one end or another of an agitated engagement. Or, perhaps you are the type to hold agitation inside yourself, not letting it out in an attempt to follow the above instruction. In the winter months, when the atmosphere can at times feel harsh, and the light and warmth of the sun is more scarce, the state of agitation can override our sense of well being. This can cause us to feel and act without kindness either to ourselves or others.
I was sitting in my very first day of teacher training. It was a very large room with about 60 people in it, I was scared and excited, jetlagged from the long flight, and all of a sudden something my teacher said changed everything about how I live my life to this day. In one lesson, poof, a life long understanding of yoga was planted, never to leave. It changed everything about how I interact with myself and the world.
She taught us that 1. The key to enlightenment was to “be kind.” And 2. Being kind begins in our thoughts.
I knew myself to be a good and kind person. I didn’t generally say anything to anyone that was unkind. I kept to myself and didn’t make too many waves. But suddenly bringing the yoga practice into my thoughts, was a whole new level of cleaning house that I wasn’t prepared for. In a funny sort of way, I was surprised that my teacher even knew that I had thoughts. You just don’t usually think about the fact that other people know that you have thoughts. You keep thoughts to yourself, you try to act nicely, that’s it.
I felt a new kind of nakedness in that teacher training. I was suddenly aware of a whole host of thoughts that maybe weren’t so kind, necessary, or even true running through my mind every minute of every day. Thoughts about myself, thoughts about others. These thoughts were blocking me from being truly peaceful and free with others. I felt like I had to hide away much of the time. I lived in fear because of the bad vibes my own thoughts gave me.
The truth is, my thoughts mostly affect me. So any unkindness within them, leaves me the one feeling unkind. Not at peace. Even if the thought was supposedly about someone else! Ever since that day, I feel as though there is a loving teaching inside my mind. Helping me distinguish my thoughts from one’s that are enlightened or not. Frustrated or angry thoughts about other people, have the opportunity to melt into compassionate accepting ones. (Although at times that does take a little bit of work and time.)
Do I still get upset? Sure I do. But now I understand that my experience extends to my thoughts, so if I want peace, I first must change my own mind about something. Then if something necessary can be said, I can say it from a place of peace.
Additionally “true” took on a whole new meaning. The fact is, we know so little about what’s true. Much of our misguided agitation stems from assuming other’s were acting in a way that was unkind to us. But we do not know what is in the mind of others. On the other hand, when we assume kindness in others, the world takes on a whole new dimension. The world does start acting more kind.
Then there is the practice of being kind to yourself. How do we act kindly to ourselves? Over indulging in things we know don’t serve us well? Over doing things we think bring us happiness? Ultimately being kind to ourselves is having a special blend of balance whereby we attend to our own needs with kindness, compassion, and honesty.
We can’t change the weather, or even other people’s states of being, but we can control our thoughts and actions and shift them over to the kind side.
This month, fill up your well, so diligently with your yoga practice, and meditation, and loving kindness to yourself and those close to you, that you are abundant with kindness. Then the next time someone seemingly is unkind to you, you can just break off a little of your own kindness and give it to them, no charge. “Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.” -Socrates
-Ella Luckett, Jai Yoga Arts
I read somewhere once that one way to be a better conversationalist is to tell yourself when you're in the middle of a conversation, that "the next conversation can be about you." Once you tell yourself this, you can get out of your own head and be more present to what the other person is saying. What's usually happening in a conversation is you're waiting to say something, thinking of your own response, thinking about your own situation--your ego is getting in the way. Your ego is trying to assert itself. Your ego is putting up a wall between the other person and you. And so, it's not only remembering this ("the next conversation can be about you") in conversation with someone else, but also when trying to listen to yourself. Your true self is in there, giving you advice, insight and love, but your ego gets in the way. "No, this temporary thing I'm feeling right now is more important!" But it's never true. "The next conversation can be about you, ego." Give yourself space to listen.
"He learned from it (the river) unceasingly. Above all he learned from it how to listen, how to listen with a still heart, with an expectant, open soul, without passion, without desire, with-out judgement, without opinion."
I find in my life, that I tend to block out the sounds that I don't want to hear. If they are words from other's, I immediately think of my defensive words as a tool to block the other's out. These are the sounds that end up filling my mind and my body. "They don't understand what you're going through," "What do they know anyways?" "They just need to shut up and leave me alone."
But, if we can learn to tune out these sounds, to go deeper into WHY we feel the need to fill our heads with negativity, we can get deeper to healing. Deeper to a place of loving words, of nurturing. In Siddhartha, he learns this through empty listening. To become a vessel without judgement. To truly open your ears, your mind and your heart without fear of what you may hear.
It's been amazing to me as I've been practicing quieting down my mind just how much it's filled with. I thought it would just be the day to day, what I had to do later, that my leggings were too small for me, was I sitting too close to the person next to me. When I close my eyes and center before class, it's so much deeper. They are sounds have been filling myself with my whole life. So often I avoid these by surrounding myself with MORE sound. Always walking around with headphones on, turning on the TV or scrolling through my phone when I get home instead of simply giving myself a few moments of silence. When I sit in this silence, I have begun to realize these sounds in my mind are harmless. What once controlled my life are just thoughts, just musings. What is more powerful is the light, the I Am that knows better than to listen to that. But to listen to my breath, to listen to my heartbeat, and be slightly reborn every time.
In practicing this, I've found greater self awareness and greater peace and I look forward to what the second half of the month will bring.
(Jan Theme 2016: Listen)
There’s a lot of background noise. From the city streets to the mumble of thoughts and worries in your head. Trucks belt out their gas guzzling roar, clashing music wars, arguments and conversations, thousands of people in short radius, talking, thinking, sending out frequencies to interrupt your clear personal connection to your inner peace.
In addition to the external sounds, there’s the clamor of your own internal dialogue. Have you ever slowed down enough to actually witness the many layers of thoughts in your head? The mind wants to dissect, assign value, meaning, judgment, to both yourself and others. It does that to protect you, to help you grow and learn, and progress. It’s an ever running engine. Until you slow down enough, to hear it, you may not even notice it’s been left churning, nor how much of your energy it’s draining to keep itself on.
The process of finding our deepest inner wisdom involves a journey through all this noise, to hear the truth beneath it all. The truth lies in the silence. Beyond the ramblings of the mental mind, the mind of higher intelligence has amazing things to say. But we have to listen.
That place is called the anahat nadam. It’s the nectar of your deepest truth and highest potential. A well spring of unwavering energy, and happiness. It’s always there waiting. If you can slowly start to move in, identifying each distracting sound as a never ending sea of “neti neti” “not this, not this” Eventually the soundless sound prevails, and you are swimming in wisdom and peace.
This month we’ll practice:
Listening to yourself: Meander through the noisy jungle until it gets quiet and there you will emerge.
Listen to others: Listen for their gift to you, for each encounter carries it. Wisdom, love, a lesson, or even just an opportunity to grow as you learn how to best relate to them. Each person has something to say, and appreciates greatly someone who will truly listen to them.
When you become an avid listener your ears become tuned like the top level sound engineer who can hear every detail separate from each other. Where most people get lost in the noise, the well versed listener can wade through the bramble of influences that don’t serve the highest in all, and land on truth. The practice of listening, will help you have compassion and connection with others, and help you feel empowered in your own self. Knowing who you are is the most precious gift that takes a lifetime to discover, and it can only be done when we tune in and listen.
